If you need something to blame it on, blame hunger. Or PMS.

Well, didn't I fall off the bandwagon...? That's different from falling off "the wagon," right? Once upon a time, I was quite the prolific blogger. I blame it on life. And the fact that our office isn't much of an office at this point. I'm not promising to be the good blogger I was before, and you probably don't need me to. Besides, do I do this so you (if there is a you anymore) can keep up with my comings and goings? If you don't already know what I'm up to these days, maybe we should try hanging out. Or having a phone conversation. Have we really become so busy that we rely on blogs and facebook to know what is going on in the lives of our friends? How did people used to do it, and why aren't we doing that? Maybe, in a time when communities were more tactile, rather than virtual, people just let go. Do you really need me to post a picture of my house so you can know what it looks like? Why not just come over? Should I really be publishing on the internet the anxiety I have about the status of my parents? Somehow, tonight, it just seems wrong. I mean--I'm busy. But should I be worried that I've been too busy to post on my blog, or is it more concerning that I haven't had a decently long conversation about how things are going with anyone other than my husband and co-workers in too long? My friendship with my laptop is strikingly lonely.

I agree with Leah--our college days were some of the most fun when it came down to our social lives. Maybe because it was before blogging and facebook (though we really just barely escaped it), and we actually did things like have coffee together to whine about crushes, and play frisbee, and have photo shoots in our Halloween costumes. And you didn't have to constantly check the internet to learn if you friends were getting together. I get being busy. Everyone's busy to varying degrees. College was a different time, one when there was loads of time.

I really want to do something different with this blog. What, I'm not yet sure. Maybe a place to practice writing outside of grant writing. Maybe a place for Existential rants and crises such as this. But not a place where you get to learn what my day-to-day life is about. If you want to know that, pick up the phone. Stop by.

I'm not trying to criticize, or judge. If this works for you, to each his own. But it doesn't work for me. Not anymore. Maybe never. I want good, old fashioned, friendships.